Happy Birthday, D.

Circa 1980.
Home. Morning. Or evening. Or pretty much anytime, actually. Me standing in the corner (standard punishment for having done something ghastly). D walks up.
Me: sniffle!
D: Ke bokechhey? Ma bokechhey? Acchha, ami ma-ke bokey debo.*

Circa 1982.
Bonfire night - presumably St. Paul's Cathedral, in the crisp Calcutta winter.
Me: (Having really heard the words to "Rudolph" for the first time) What does "He went down in history" mean?
D: (Deadpan) It means he failed history.

Circa 1985.
Interior of jeep, Hazaribagh forest, pitch black night, competing for a favourite uncle's attention. D telling joke, me trying to cut in.
Me: I saw a tail, I saw a tail! I just saw a tail hanging down from that tree.
D: Was it a long tail or a tall tale?

Circa 1987.
Home. D (18) and a bunch of his friends hanging around in his room. Me (10) insisting on hanging around with them.
D: Progga, now do your disappearing trick.

Circa 1992.
Platform, Ahmedabad station, waiting for the train home after visiting D on campus for a few days.
D: So... what else has been happening?
Me: (the first time I'm speaking to Family about Something So Very Important)
Ummm... so... ummm. I think I like this boy... (kicking clods embarassedly, voice trailing off)
D: Really? And? Tell me more...
Me: I don't want to talk about it.
D: OK.
(Not another question about this, ever.)

Circa 1996.
Me hysterical, sitting at the top of the stairs, howling so hard I can barely speak. On phone with D, calling from Bangalore.
Me: And I fell off the train. And I can't figure out if I'm hurt. My knees are numb, I can't feel anything. I'm scared. Don't tell Ma and Baba.
D: (trying to understand what I'm saying and respond calmly instead of calling the parents pronto) OK. First, go see a doctor, and let me know what he says. And sometime - tomorrow, next year, 5 years later, whenever - make sure you tell them yourself. Don't let them hear from someone else.#

Circa 1998.
Me in Bombay, talking on the phone to D in Bangalore.
Me: What the hell is the deal with men? Why the...? What the...? *%@!#&! (non-stop ranting for 10 minutes.)
D: (resigned tone) OK, I can see we'll have to have that man-to-man chat about sex now.


And on... and on... and on...


To the world's most outstandingly annoying sibling... my tormentor for years... and idol for many more. You may be old but I still think you're pretty cool.



* Who scolded you? Ma? OK, I'll scold Ma then.
# It only took me 3 years, by the way.

And what, then, is there to write about?

Miserable weather, mostly. Too cold, too many flurries, too soon. Grey, wet gloom and ice slicking the tarmac so one has to pick one's feet and walk carefully. Office thermostat malfunction, so that one's feet freeze through the day. End-of-year blues. Deathly malaise that makes it difficult to drag oneself out of bed and into work each morning. A crippling incapacity to do anything remotely productive... and an environment that robs anything productive one does of any excitement or value.

Crib, bitch, whine, moan...

But ah, the one silver lining: the discovery of the Telegraph quick crossword online. Oh Calcutta-morning-ritual joy!

None of These Dots Connect

1. Airplane stationary between runways, waiting for a gap in the every-9-seconds take-offs and landings to taxi to the gate. Sunset, a steady stream of flights appearing magically, hey-presto, out of crimson and grey cloud banks, landing lights ablaze. Magical. What is it about watching flights land and take off that fires the imagination?

2. Red sofa and sheets in lamplight, warmth against the drizzly cold gloom of a too-cold-too-early winter.

3. A week-long vacation at the Grand Canyon. Driving through desert, past vermilion cliffs, across the mighty Colorado. No laptop, no Blackberry, no thoughts of work. A daily dose of beer, If On A Winter's Night, A Traveler, the Gotan Project, family. More, please.

4. Family get-together. Arrivals timed to make me go to the airport thrice in 48 hours. 5 of us in my 1-bedroom apartment, getting in each other's way - and into each other's hair. All the inevitable squabbles and then some. Still perfect.

Faith & Reason

An astounding series of interviews with prominent authors about the twin ideas of faith and reason, and how they impact our lives and futures. Watch.

Link courtesy M.

Crime & Enjoyment

I'd totally buy these.
Though I suspect that the real cosies come from reading the originals, while snuggled into a squashy sofa lit by the glow of a single lamp, on stormy evenings


Link from M.

Familiarity breeds... ummm... contempt?

Me: LMAO
(short, telling silence)
S: Are you trying to make cat noises?
Me: No, but I KNEW you'd say that.

~ ~ ~

S: aghotrrj
Me: have you gone insane, or is your cat walking across the keyboard again?
S: ha ha ha - I KNEW you'd say that.

Yippi Ki Yay Mo

So I just got back from watching Live Free or Die Hard, which was a spectacular movie. Spectacularly bad, that is. Although highly entertaining. Among other things, the movie features Bruce Willis hanging from every conceivable item (a walkway, an F-35 plane, the open door of a car balanced precariously in what appears to be an elevator shaft), jumping out of a car at the last moment, to send it up a pillar with such precision as to collide with and take out a helicopter, surfing on the wing of the aforesaid F-35 as it's about to crash, and in a spectacular wheelie with an 18-wheeler, which Mr. Willis gets out of, against all known laws of physics, by turning the steering wheel in the direction that will actually disbalance him more. (At the end of this scene, I wanted to jump up and cheer, and throw loose change at the screen!) And, of course, there were some scenes that were lifted straight from other movies (the elevator shaft scene carries shades of one of the Jurassic Park movies, for instance).

And as we stood around rehashing and laughing hysterically at some scenes, the conversation rolled around to the worst movies we've ever seen. Immediate contenders for the rank of world's worst movie were:
a. Independence Day (Best line: "Today will be known as the independence day of the whole world.")
b. Dante's Peak
c. King Solomon's Mines
d. Matrix Revolutions
e. Commando
f. Air Force One (Best line: "Get off my plane!")

What thoughts, people? If I wanted to watch some really, really terrible movies, what would you recommend?